Probably-Not-That-Original Thoughts on Why Summer Sucks (as an Adult)
I have some probably-not-really-that-original-but-I-still-feel-them feelings about summer as an adult that I need to get out there. You know what I mean, right? Summer isn't the same as when I was a kid - no 3 months off of school, free to go swimming or (once a year) to the beach to soak up the sun and dig holes in the sand, seemingly unlimited time to read and read and read all I wanted. Time to borrow the family video camera to make short films with my friends that I never want to see the light of day (I am not a director or writer, I just prefer to work the camera and edit). To hang out with friends, play video games, eat a ton of popcorn and toast marshmallows over the small fire pit one of their sets of parents' had gotten that year.
It's not really like that anymore.
Summer is being stuck inside working, knowing that the weather is fantastic outside, but by the time the work day is over, you're mentally exhausted and hungry and need to make dinner. Of course, don't forget to clean up after dinner, don't want those dishes rotting away.
And oh yeah, that electric bill is due soon, go pay that! What's that, it's dark out now? Oh, okay. Maybe I'll just watch some TV and... fall asleep on the couch. Jolting awake at 2am, realizing you should probably go up to bed. It'll be more comfortable. Except you toss and turn, and your back hurts, and it's just a little too warm, but the small box fan noise next to you is also just a little too loud.
And you blink, and it's time to go to work again. And you continue onwards, on the unending slog that is having a job. And you worry about the decisions your company is making, how much they're throwing themselves into the expensive, harmful arms of "AI", wondering not if you'll be replaced, but if your salary might be determined better spent on tokens, more and more tokens, of course more tokens because we NEED to use more tokens, it's the future you know! And then you calm down because your manager is actually on your side, he hates it too. You have a good laugh, talk about how we're probably going to do as little as possible this coming weekend just to feel like we can catch up on not being stressed for a few minutes.
...I was supposed to be talking about summer, right?
Summer is saying "oh, absolutely, let's make plans to meet up!" and then, three months later, realizing you haven't bothered to make those plans.
Summer is remembering that you did schedule off some time from work for that one trip to see friends for a few days, and counting down the days - no, the seconds - until you get to see them and feel free and alive and loved and - then back to work.
Summer is remembering that trip, wishing you were still there, in that moment. Summer is mournful that there isn't more time.
Summer is "well, fall is right around the corner, it'll cool down soon, right?" And it's also "wow, yeah the planet has certainly warmed up, now even my favorite season is hot and the leaves don't change when I hope for... but they will, right?"
Summer is hoping that fall will be here soon. It's for remembering that there's holidays that guarantee a day off here and there coming soon. And that's what you need.
Summer is a blink of an eye.
It's not the same. And I miss it.
